Travel + Marriage = ?

Husband and I both travel a lot for work, and we're going to be doing more of it in the coming months. I grew up with a dad that traveled all the time for his job, so it was commonplace for me when Husband got a job that required him to be gone for a week or two at a time.

What I didn't really take into account was that it would take time away from our marriage. Our trips never really seem to line up, so we're always leaving each other home alone. I've gotten asked a number of times if that's hard on our marriage.

At first, yes. At first it nearly killed us. We didn't know how to handle being apart, then together, then apart again. We got used to our own schedules, our own routines, and our own way of doing things (like I would eat a piece of toast for supper and then forget to make a meal when Husband came home). So yes, it was very, very difficult.

But so is marriage. Especially when you're first starting out. I don't care if you spend 24/7 together or if you see each other once a week, marriage is HARD.

Traveling was our own obstacle to overcome, and I don't think we should be looked down upon for it. Each married couple goes through a period of growth. There are a few months or a year where you need to get to know your spouse on a more intimate level and get used to how they handle certain situations.

But through those arguments we had and that growth we went through, I realized that traveling was actually good for us. Weird, right? Bear with me.

When I first started dating Husband, I told him that I didn't want to stay in Sioux County. He was fully aware of my plans to leave and start a nomadic and romanticized life somewhere unknown (Africa, if we're being honest).

But then things got serious with us, and then there was suddenly this beautiful rock on my finger that basically said "Actually, you're staying in Sioux County for the rest of your life," and I said OK, because I love my husband and I want to support his dreams. And that means staying put.

At first I didn't like it. I huffed and complained and grunted about staying in Sioux Center. Seriously, how do I go from plans of suitcase living to buying a "forever home"? I was baffled and annoyed and frankly mad.

But then I traveled. God gave me my sanity back with a job that let me leave this small town and see a little bit of the outside world. And you know what? I missed Sioux Center.

I realized, through traveling, how beautiful our home was. I realized what a good place this is to live and procreate and raise our mini-me's. But that took traveling to do so.

I think the same theory can loosely be applied to our marriage. I feel like sometimes couples get sick of each other. They see each other day in and day out. Like I was seeing Sioux Center. And they forget to see the beauty. They only see the way their spouse leaves dirty clothes on the floor or doesn't close the toothpaste lid. Like I only saw the shit spread in the fields or the relentless wind. Married couples forget how their spouse will offer to put the kids to bed when they see you're exhausted, or run the dishwasher for you even though it was "your turn," or the way that their spouse makes them feel more beautiful than anyone else ever could. Kind of like I forgot to watch the sunset that goes for miles, or the see the stars appearing one by one in our somewhat secluded backyard, or how there's new life every spring that I can literally watch grow every morning on my way to work.

Traveling made me see the beauty in where I live and forget about some of the stuff that I don't appreciate. And it did the same for my marriage.

I'm not saying everyone should pack a bag and leave for a week, but it works for us. We appreciate each other more and I can honestly say we take more time to see the beauty in each other.

What's that saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? And makes it see more clearly. I'm married to a beautiful human being. I see that more clearly now.