Why Marriage is Nothing like a Fairytale
Disney can be very convincing. It can convince a young girl growing up in Africa that wild animals can sing and dance, it can convince that same girl in Michigan that if she stands still enough and believes hard enough, the cars driving by will see her as Pocahontas (yes, I did that). It can also convince that same little girl that there will always be a happily ever after.
Disney does a wonderful job of showing the knight in shining armor coming in and rescuing the helpless maiden, then whisking her off to get married on a whim.
Seriously, did Sleeping Beauty not catch the red flag when he kissed her while she was clearly asleep? Anyways.
As corny as it sounds, I waited for my knight in shining armor, like most high school girls do I'm sure. I waited to be whisked away, not knowing for quite some time how to function without a man in my life. I'm not blaming Disney by any means, but they're not doing a great job of promoting the strong female lead, with a few exceptions, like Frozen (Let it go?)
Poor Paul had quite the clean-up job to do when he met me. I may have had it all together for the most part on the outside, but let me tell you, there were a few men in my life who did a number on me that Paul had to slowly undo. And he did.
And fairytales don't tell you about that. They don't tell you that every relationship won't work out-that the man you thought would be your knight is actually your dragon. They don't show the girl staring at her computer screen speechless because her first love just dumped her over IM.
Fairytales also don't show what happens after you marry your main man. They don't show the arguing, the compromising, the digging through layers to see who's really underneath. There's a lot of growing pains that come with marriage that Snow White and her strange 7 friends did not tell me about.
But there's also something beautiful that fairytales don't even touch on. Along with the growing pains come the fruit of your labor. Once I got over the fact that my husband may or may not put away his clothes after I've folded them, once I let myself see the amazing man he is and not just the annoyances that come with starting a new life with someone, I realized how much those fairytales missed.
Disney doesn't show you that your husband will love you unconditionally, no matter if I'm pms'ing or pissed because I think I look fat, Paul is there; loving me. When I'm up sick at night, he's awake with me rubbing my back, even though he has to work in a few hours. They didn't prepare me for a man who is working on his communication skills daily, even though he's spent most of his life being the silent one. And his patience with me, don't even get me started.
Disney also didn't prepare me for the love I would feel. I never knew I could learn to love someone as much as I do my husband-a love I feel will not be topped until I have children one day, and even then, may only be matched. A love that would make me content to stay in NW Iowa when my plan for so long was to move to NY, and a love that makes me happy to be a farmer's wife when that was the one profession I swore I'd never marry.
No, marriage and fairytales are nothing alike, and for that I am thankful. A marriage is far and away beyond anything I'd hoped for or expected. It's tough, no doubt. A learning experience everyday. But I thank the Lord for the 2 short years I've had with my husband and the love, faith, and respect that's grown between us in that time. He is my partner and my best friend. A farmer on a tractor instead of a knight in shining armor, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
If you're newly married, or planning on getting married, just remember to keep the big picture in mind. A spouse is someone who will love you unconditionally, and you should do the same. Your life partner, best friend, and God-given lover should not be taken for granted, something I'm learning new each day.
But he said, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.” Luke 18:27
